Do Blank Stares Mean I Have Failed

   Moments prior to having eight peering and baffled faces staring at me with astonished eyes, I had proudly declared today’s Latin class was going to start out with good old-fashioned review. First and second person pronouns, first and second declension adjectives, and a few other helpful parts of speech were on this class’s docket. I had a mighty list of items to tackle and was determined to effectively accomplish it all with every single student understanding everything perfectly. Ah, ‘tis true—pride goeth before the fall. I wasn’t hoping for the impossible. I wasn’t expecting my students to shout for joy when they heard the news. Rather, I was optimistic they would step up to the challenge, amaze me with how much they could recall, and enjoy doing it! Not too high of expectations, right? The reality hit me like an unavoidable train. I received confused faces and half-asleep eyes. What on earth is a First Person Pronoun!? And how am I supposed to know what an Er Adjective is were the unuttered pleas in the room. This evoked two terrifying thoughts in my mind: My lesson plan was out the window, and I must be an awful teacher since they don’t remember these terms. There was no doubt about it, I had failed. Being head of a classroom, one has to roll with the punches. Lesson plans are absolutely important, but what is more valuable (and much more effective in the long run) is teaching at the point of need. Immediately, my agenda was cut in half. Assessing the situation, I hunkered down and started asking questions. As Andrew Pudewa always says, â€Å"You can’t get something out of a brain that isn’t in there to begin with.† I knew the students could recall the requested information, but occasionally it takes a while for them to recover it. Fast forward twenty or thirty minutes later, and the room was sounding in chorus as we practiced the Latin endings. It may have taken twice as long as I had planned for, but at least it happened. This quieted my first thought. But, wasn’t I still a failure? Shouldn’t they already have been able to perfectly recite these? Should I have prepared my agenda items more carefully? Sure, there is an element of truth to all of these questions. Perhaps I should have reviewed these terms more often. I could have done better—I admit it. But that doesn’t equal failure. It’s easy to feel inadequate when your class doesn’t â€Å"measure up† to the workbook. After a few spiraling, depressing moments of gloom, I realized that by the end of that hour-long class, they knew more than they did an hour previous. They could recite the requested declensions. Maybe it wasn’t perfectly on schedule or by the book, but that was where they were. It was where I was. In that moment I realized that blank stares do not reflect teacher failures—they reflect opportunities for growth.    Michelle Robinson started out working in Production and as a marketing assistant, but now enjoys working with the Customer Service Department. Having been homeschooled her whole life, Michelle had the opportunity to compete in a homeschool speech and debate league. Because she is a  Latin scholar, Michelle has been asked to teach that subject to the local homeschooling community. Michelle is passionate about photography, her friends, and her faith. Log in or register to post commentsMichelle Robinsons blog Log in or register to post comments

Order, Chaos, and Climax In King Lear - Literature Essay Samples

A recurring theme throughout William Shakespeares King Lear is the perpetual struggle between order and chaos, played out in the arena of human existence. While such characters as Lear, Cordelia, Albany and Edgar try to impose their sense of divine and moral order on the muddled world around them, the insubordination of Goneril, Regan and Edmund serves to undermine these attempts, leading inexorably towards a catastrophic climax in the plays final scene. Interestingly, the play does not follow a straight downwards path from order to chaos; rather, it acts somewhat like a roller coaster, enduring a fall when Goneril, Regan and Edmund usurp the throne, then a slow ascension as all three die in the final scene, and finally a sharp drop after the central moment in the text: Cordelias death. As a playwright, Shakespeare knew that his work was meant to be performed, and this structure allows for the most emotional response from the audience. Instead of a gradual decline in order, which wou ld have given the audience time to prepare themselves for the coming chaos, Shakespeare offers us a building sense of hope that suddenly crumbles into despair. Thus, the very structure of the play reflects the disorderliness that rules the lives of its characters. Over the course of Act V, Scene iii, near the end of which Cordelia dies, we witness the growing success of Albany and Edgar in their attempts to reestablish the orders of law and divine judgement; however, when the virtuous Cordelia is killed, these concepts become incompatible with reality, and King Lear plummets into chaos.At the beginning of Act V, Scene iii, chaos has gripped the kingdom; the monarchy, as well as other positions, is in disarray. Lear, believing that his sentence is to live out his days incarcerated with Cordelia, attempts to remove himself from the turmoil of the realm and institute a new order in prison. He says:[Well] hear poor roguesTalk of court news; and well talk with them too,Who loses and who wins; whos in, and whos out;And take upon s the mystery of things,As if we were Gods spies; and well wear out,In a walled prison, packs and sects of great ones,That ebb and flow by the moon. (V,iii, 13-19)In prison, Lear says, he and his daughter will retain some connection with the going-on of the court, the confusion of which he emphasizes with his nonchalant who loses and who wins; whos in, and whos out. By discussing the monarchys constant state of flux so lightly, Lear points out not only that turmoil, but also the meaninglessness of it all; for Lear, it does not matter whos in, because sooner or later he will become whos out. Having recognized this pointlessness, Lear goes on to separate himself and Cordelia from the chaos that has taken over, claiming that they can take upon [them] the mystery of things, / As if [they] were Gods spies, outside observers of said chaos from some ordered, heavenly realm, and as such the only people capable of understanding the chaotic world. Nex t, by saying, well wear out, / In a walled prison, packs and sects of great ones, Lear posits that a life within the walled prison of order will necessarily outlast the warring groups that have created chaos in his kingdom; the very chaos produced by power-hungry factions serves to destroy any chance of their ultimate survival. Thus, early in the final scene, we see a recognition of and conscious withdrawal from the perils of political and moral chaos, to be followed shortly by Albanys and Edgars attempted elimination of the chaotic forces.Later in the scene, in the midst of internal squabbling among the conspirators, the Duke of Albany tries to recapture the lost order of the law. After learning of the extramarital relationship between his wife and Edmund, Albany angrily says:Stay yet; hear reason. Edmund, I arrest theeOn capital treason; and, in thine attaint,This gilded serpent [pointing to Goneril]. For your claim, fair sister,I bar it in the interest of my wife;Tis she is sub-c ontracted to this lord,And I, her husband, contradict your banes. (V,iii,83-88)This speech points to Albanys desire to erase the crimes of his wife and her party, to return to the days before Cordelias banishment. In the first line, he beseeches Edmund to hear reason, despite reasons necessary exclusion from the villains mutiny against the traditional order of monarchy. Albany then arrests Edmund, again seeming to ignore the utter lack of a legal system in the chaotic realm that has emerged. Finally, referring to Gonerils desire to marry Edmund, Albany refers to her as sub-contracted; yet, clearly Goneril did not respect her filial contract with her father, so Albany has no reason to believe she will obey her marriage contract with him. In essence, Albany is striving to superimpose the old set of legal rules on top of a world in which legality is irrelevant. At this point in the play, then, his attempt seems childish and self-delusional; later, however, the audience realizes that th e villains preferred existence cannot survive, and Albanys sense of order begins to prevail. This scene represents the turning of the knob to open the door for the laws reentry into the kingdom.Soon after, Edgar claims that the divine order of right and wrong still exists even in the midst of political chaos; the deaths of all three conspirators seem to support this statement. Gloucesters rightful heir, Edgar appears on the scene to confront his illegitimate brother, Edmund. Upon felling his opponent, Edgar warns him, The gods are just, and of our pleasant vices / Make instruments to plague us (V,iii,170-171). In this way, like Albany before him, Edgar tries to impose a system of order where none is yet apparent. If the gods truly were just, Cordelia never would have been banished from the kingdom, Gloucester would still have his eyes, and Lear his throne. As the scene develops, however, the audience begins to witness more and more evidence that Edgars contention is the truth. Firs t, Edgar defeats Edmund, leaving the earldom of Gloucester to its legitimate owner. Second, in a fight for Edmunds love, the two colluding sisters, Goneril and Regan, kill each other. Not only does this support Edgars assertion of divine justice via the creation of self-destructive vices, but also Lears earlier intimation that order would necessarily outlast chaos, which is too unstable to survive. To the audience, then, as the tension builds, it appears that the forces of order and morality are in position to defeat those of chaos and wrongdoing.Immediately before the crucial moment of the play, the audience is treated to a final clue that order will prevail. The dying Edmund consciously abandons his evil ways and cancels Cordelias execution in the prison. He says:Some good I mean to do,Despite of mine own nature. Quickly send,Be brief in it, to the castle; for my writIs on the life of Lear and on Cordelia:Nay, send in time. (V,iii,243-247)Edmund reinforces the ordered rules of con science, spurning his previous chaotic, amoral view in favor of doing some good. Additionally, with his instructions to be brief in it and send in time, Edmund proves that his concern for Cordelia and Lear is great, which in turn demonstrates sincere compunction. This understandable display of remorse seems to the audience to be the final step in reversing past transgressions and reestablishing order in the kingdom. Nearly momentarily, however, the building anticipation of Lears and Cordelias triumph is shattered when Lear reenters the stage carrying his daughters corpse.Lears initial monologue upon returning with Cordelias body demonstrates the pervading lack of order in his kingdom. He laments:Howl, howl, howl, howl! O, you are men of stones:Had I your tongues and eyes, Id use them soThat heavens vault should crack. Shes gone forever!I know when one is dead, and when one lives;Shes dead as earth. (V,iii,257-261)He starts by repeating four times the word howl, an animalistic word d emonstrating the lack of humanity‹the order of conscience‹in the kingdom. Additionally, the absence of a traditional sentence structure in this first line echoes the absence of a traditional political or moral structure around him. Next, he attacks the men in his presence, calling them inhuman men of stones‹again, lacking the order of conscience. Having criticized mortals, Lear then condemns heavens vault, wishing that it would crack, for allowing such chaos to reign. In this way, Lear continues to hold on to his prior ideas of divine justice, but deeming the divine guilty for not having imposed justice in Cordelias case. Finally, Lear grasps at the only order that remains in his chaotic kingdom: the order of life and death. He asserts that, if nothing else, he can still know when one is dead, and when one lives; most readers, however, would define a world where life and death are the only constants as being in a state of chaos. Thus, while Lear begins with pessimism, em phasizing the lack of human order, eventually he resorts to self-delusional optimism, stressing the only system of order that remains: biology.The sharpness of this drop from hope to despair intensifies the audiences perception of the battle between order and chaos in the play. The magnitude of Cordelias death is increased by the element of surprise, as well as by the complete turnaround of the plays mood. For this reason, we must consider Shakespeares tactics to be successful ones, as they heighten the tragedy of King Lear, moving away from more traditional, more conservative methods in favor of abruptness, an ambush of the audiences emotions. After this critical moment, Shakespeare adds little else; Lear and Edmund both die, but the audience expects both of these events. Otherwise, we are left with Albany, Edgar and Kent standing alone on the stage, struggling to make sense‹order‹of the chaotic madness that has unfolded. Although Albany offers the throne to Kent and Edgar, the chaos never seems truly resolved. Kent rejects the throne, revealing that he is not long for the world, while Edgar appears to be, like the audience, in a state of shock. He says, We that are young / Shall never see so much (V,iii,326-327), expressing his and our disbelief at the tremendous pain encountered by Lear. The audience receives nothing from Shakespeare but a few moments to share in the characters pain, and the play ends. In this way, King Lear should be seen as a deeply pessimistic work, which Shakespeare chooses to conclude with an almost overpowering sense of hopelessness. There is, however, a bit of hope remaining, in that the remaining characters all believe in the power of order. Thus, if and when they do rebuild the kingdom, it appears that they will do so upon the foundation of moral and legal order. Lears and Edgars prophecies have come true; chaos has destroyed itself. Unfortunately, it has destroyed an ordered kingdom as well.